There is a popular saying – if you always win, you never learn. As parents, it is our human instinct to protect our children from all adversities. Be it failing a subject in school or return disappointed because the toy store was closed, we automatically jump in to stand as a shield to prevent the negative emotions from consuming our loved ones. But every time you rectify the situation for your child, you actually shun its teachings away and hinder the psychological growth of your child. Failures are part of life and it is always going to be. Instead of protecting, offer your child help.
The best schools in Sector 50 Gurgaon direct their parents to assist their children to deal with failures. To accept that things have happened and take responsibility to avoid those in the future. Every hurdle has a lesson associated and it is, therefore, important for your child to fall down at times. Be a guardian, not a saviour, and help your child in the following ways.
- Allow them to feel disappointed
No matter how painful it is to you. If your child returned home after losing a soccer game and is sitting curled up in the couch, instead of trying to cheer him up with candy, talk to him about the game. Ask him questions like what actually went wrong, whose fault was it and what all did he learn from losing. Guide him through the process of disappointment and slowly reveal to him the things he knows now that he will not repeat in the next game. The candy would have buried the situation. Talking is helping him explore.
- Accept your mistakes in front of your child
A student will always learn from his parents. So, if you continuously accept your failures in front of them, apologise and move on, your child will quickly pick up this habit and ingrain it into themselves. Every time you say a sorry, it normalises failures for him. And the next time when you actually rectified your mistake, the child learns that the consequences are not that bad. Whether he breaks a jar or fights with a friend, he will soon realise his faults and make amends. He did have a good example always.
- Hold back the praises a bit
This may sound inhuman but too much of anything is never good. If your child feels entitled and worthy for every action of his, he will soon become highly pampered. Not every achievement deserves a party, not every good manner deserves a pat in the back. Such a trend will make your child validation-oriented where his success will only depend on praises. And when the failures do come, the fall will be that much harder. So, build a throne for your child, but avoid making it too comfortable. Praise him when you feel he really deserves it while at other times, give a simple nod.
- Let them fail, even when evident
Practice self-restraint. Situations will come up when you know a task will lead to sure shot failures. Let your child go through with the process and allow them to fail. It is the same way in which the best school in Sector 56 Gurgaon will never summon you when your child might fail his first exam. Only after the circumstances happen will you be allowed to step in. What is important here is for your child to learn which specific actions led to such an effect. Next time, he will identify the trend and naturally take preventive measures.
- Give space to your child to come to you
At times, your child needs some time to introspect. And this is done best when he is alone. So, do not offer your help every time something goes wrong but keep the option open for him to come to you. Your child will only accept your assistance when he feels the need for it. When he is ready for some advice or another perspective. Forcing it on him will make your words fall into deaf ears and the outcome will never be what you desired. Give your child the physical space after his failure and simply let him know that you are there to help.
In the top day boarding schools in Gurgaon like the Alpine Convent School, you will find the teachers adopting a similar approach. Sports are never played without scores. Low grades are never normalised. Such institutes teach their students to identify failures, encourage them to learn from the consequences and use the lesson in their future life. Adopt such techniques, protect your child. But only to the extent that is required.